Marriage

I forgot when I felt like this was working towards marriage.
Whenever we spoke about it. 
I always got talked down. 
Do have this, do you have that? 
It always boils down to $$.
Which is the main problem.

He spoke to me about it just now over lunch.
Finally! He brought this topic up. 
But never fail to make me feel I'm being talked down again.

I'm happy. 
But the disappointment is more that happiness.

I should have just answer and said yes.
But I blew the whole matter up. 
And it went downhill again.

Maybe i should really try harder like he said.
Maybe I should try to think harder before I shoot my mouth in disappointment.

It's my fault again. 

Guess it's going downhill like before.